Uptight People

Please read this article, I laughed... its funny...

Mr Methane to blow away audiences

The world's only full-time performing flatulist is promising to "blow away audiences" at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.



Mr Methane, alias former train driver Paul Oldfield, will reveal his unique skills in a show called An Audience With Mr Methane.

In it, he tells broadcaster Martin Kelner how his 'talent' came to light when he accompanied his sister in yoga practice.

He discovered - to his surprise and delight - that he was able to take in air through the rear, retain it, and then expel it as and when he chose.

At first, it was nothing more than a party trick to entertain fellow railwaymen, but eventually Mr Methane found that by careful control, he could pick out a simple tune.

He gradually expanded his repertoire, which now ranges from Strauss's Blue Danube waltz through to Kylie Minogue's I Should Be So Lucky.

Using audio visual aids, Kelner will tell the Methane story, and may join him on a moving rendition of Da Doo Ron Ron, "performed fore and aft".

Mr Methane will tell how he conquered the Howard Stern show in America, did sell-out tours in Australia, and became a star on Japanese TV.

"He wanted to call it Working My Passage but I persuaded him not to," reveals Kelner.

So ok, everyday I do this show element call "Odd News From Around The World" and this guy is pretty damn odd! Its gross but really impressive! Who do you know that can play accurate classical music out their butt! No one right?

When I got done talking about this I get a phone call in the studio...

Me: AFN The Eagle

Guy: Were you the one just talking about flatulance?

Me: Yes... (giggle)

Guy: Why don't you just play some more music instead of telling stories like that...

Me: Ummm... Well there is music on right now... (confusion)

Guy: Good

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Ok, is it just me or is this dude a little uptight? I mean really? If the word "fart" really offended you that much you need to thank your lucky stars you don't have better things to worry about! Or better yet, go out and get something better to worry about!

-Sam-